Flat Champagne Returns!

I'm sorry for neglecting you for so long; a lot has happened since I last wrote you. It seems that from Thanksgiving to New Years I feel like my life has done a complete 180. When I last left off, I had just overcome a rough night after Thanksgiving while writing a cover letter for a possible job opportunity in Chicago. That was was honestly one of the toughest nights I'd had since graduating; but then, just as I'd woken up from crying -- my eyes still swelled and all -- everything started coming together. It is like it was all a test, and the final exam, to force myself -- no, to pick myself up (though not without help from others around me) -- to just do what I had to do after a long rut of doing, what seemed like, nothing.

First off, I realized that the cover letter I dreaded so much was not really about the cover letter itself at all. It was a symbol of monotony -- a hopeless monotonous tone my life had taken on (or maybe I had chosen to take on myself) -- and I just could not take another repetitive thing that I did not want to do anymore. But mostly, I did not want to let go: to let go of Thailand, let go of college, and even let go of a 5-day trip to California. To me, it was letting go of something each of those symbolized to me: freedom. But the truth is, I had never been so captive in my entire life as I was during that fixation and that state of stagnancy.

By this point you are probably wondering what the heck happened to bring this epiphany.

Well, i didn't give up my dreams, but I moved on, which is what I realize you have to do to in order to achieve your dreams sometimes. In so many words:

I sent in that cover letter, was oh-so relieved and was eagerly awaiting a response, when a few days after the last rut (the night after I shared it with you) I was at my aunt's house to see my cousin Lauren before she flew back to L.A. Previously, while out in L.A., she picked up some tarot cards and, with some direction, got pretty good at reading them. We'd always gotten a kick out of things like that, so she read mine and the first thing she landed on was regret. She said that I wasn't sleeping well -- that I was tired because I couldn't move forward from the past and couldn't be happy until I did. We couldn't figure out what she was talking about for a little while until she asked about Thailand, and then -- whether it was the cards, intuition, or her just being close enough to me to sense that something was deeply troublesome -- I realized she was right. Every time I'd come close to an opportunity of any kind, I would go half-way and then freak out (like I did in my last post) and I would revert to fixating on my inability to go to Thailand, which would lead to me becoming depressed and thrusting myself back into another rut. Obviously... it's no wonder I was getting nowhere! The longer I held onto the past (me not going to Thailand), the longer I held my head underwater, drowning myself in my regrets.

After my realization that night, I felt like I purged myself of all that negativity, regret, and sadistic sorrow. And just a few days after that, I got an e-mail from a very dear family friend, who I worked for at my internship, in response to my second California post. She told me there was an opening at her friend's magazine and she thought I would be a good fit and that her friend and I would really get along. I was hesitant because I had just become grounded and accepted that my next step would be in Chicago and was afraid if I took a chance on this, I might slip back into my old pattern. But I knew it would be foolish to pass up the opportunity, so I went ahead and set up an interview the next day... and she was right.


The woman who interviewed me -- my would-be boss -- and I talked for an hour. I left the interview feeling excited and renewed. It was a job with a great deal of opportunity for learning, experience, and room for growth in exactly the field I wanted to pursue. A week later, I got an offer! And I was dying to talk to you guys about it before and after the interview but because this blog is on my resume I couldn't until things were settled. But now, a month later, I am working! I am the Editorial Assistant from Robb Report; and I am writing a lot and learning a lot and it is only my second week, but I love it. And this blog helped me so much. All of your supportive comments and loyal reading helped me incredibly; in some sense, I feel like starting this blog prompted my comeback.


So I am sad that I didn't even hit 10 posts on Flat Champagne, but I am not ready to say goodbye. So, I propose a new topic -- the blog needs a direction and I need your help. Please send me any ideas/input as to  what you would like to read and where you'd like to see Flat Champagne go. We might even be up for a possible name change who knows?! Some of the ideas so far were to allow other people to contribute, to talk about the young, post-grad professional life and all that entails, to start featuring more creative writing sometimes... but I really think you probably have some solid suggestions and insight to contribute, so please do!

Thank you and love to all who have helped me throughout this crazy transition and unstable time in my life. And, of course, many, many thanks for always reading!